How to Survive James Potter for Dummies
by mtwordsr
Summary: Lily Evans certainly feels like a dummy, and a survival book regarding James Potter would be helpful this seventh year! Sharing a dorm, patrolling together... where is the Dummies book when you need it?
1. Chapter 1: Introduction

Hey, readers! :) This is my long term project, for maybe over the school year? We shall see. You see, I've been doing a lot of thinking, about the stages of James and Lily's relationship. That thinking resulted in this. The chapters shall in fact be based on my "Signing for Dummies" book, ha. Enjoy!

**

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 1: Introduction**_

"Miss Evans, I dare to question: what was the necessity of harassing Mr. Potter to this point?" said Albus Dumbledore, not at all unkindly. In fact, he sounded quite amused. He sat in his office, staring at two seventeen year olds in front of him.

The Mr. Potter stated was rubbing his arm, biting his lip in pain. "Not really her fault, Professor, I mean -" Lily was a little irritated. He was defending her, even now. "Well," he said, letting go and putting a brave face to the sore spot on his shoulder, "I expected her to be this shocked."

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes, I did. You would be the last person she expected to become Head Boy, hm? After all, why on earth would I put the two of you in the same dormitory?"

Lily leaped up, eyes wide. She hissed, "The _same dormitory_?" She completely forgot whom she was speaking to.

"Now, now, Miss Evans. Think of it rationally," said Dumbledore patiently, "you are overreacting." Lily sighed, listening to him and sitting down. She exhaled heavily once more.

"Er, Li – Evans," said James slowly, "you know I won't try anything. Dumbledore would know." Lily gave Dumbledore a questioning look, asking with her eyes if he truly would know. Dumbledore nodded.

"James would also lose his position as Head Boy," said Dumbledore. His eyes twinkled. "In my opinion, it would be unwise to set an example of such to the other students." James cracked a small smile. Lily forced herself not to.

Lily sighed, thinking about it. After all, there would be precautions, and James seemed genuine. "Fine." She got up and held her hand to James. "Truce, this year?" James looked relieved. He shook it.

**

I'm sorry it's short! It's just a setup for everything else, no fluffiness whatsoever. Also, I want to inform the readers that I'm not a huge fan of most fics that involve Lily and James sharing a dormitory, but … it's kind of important. A new chapter shall be up this week (or even tomorrow), hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2: Who is this boy?

My name is awfully close to Joanne, but unfortunately, I'm not quite as rich as J.K. Rowling. I am forced to deduce that I am not her.

This lacks a bit of fluff. Sorry. :)

* * *

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 2: Who is this boy?**_

"Potter?! Is Dumbledore out of his mind?" breathed Alice Thomas. Mary Davies was staring at Lily, at a loss for words. Lily had just informed her two friends that James Potter was chosen for Head Boy. The three of them were rushing out of Dumbledore's office, away from James. He didn't run after them. Lily guessed he was running off to tell Sirius Black everything that happened. The two of them would see each other again in … Lily tried not to wince … _their _dormitory.

Lily sighed, throwing her head back and staring at the ceiling. "I _know_... oh, Merlin... this is going to be torture. I was so excited to be Head Girl, too. I can't believe Dumbledore."

Alice grinned. "I think there's a good thing coming out of this. Don't you think, Mary?"

Mary laughed. "What? That Lily's going to get to know James?"

"You read my mind," Alice said slyly. "I can't wait to -"

"Wait, wait, wait," Lily interrupted irritably, "I won't, under any circumstances, get to know James any more than a strictly professional relationship. Friends, possibly, but nothing more. I am only getting along with him because I have to. I promise, nothing will happen."

Alice and Mary didn't argue. They were silent, their thoughts to themselves. Lily could take a guess at what they were thinking. She bid them goodnight, and Lily parted with her friends to leave for the Head dormitory. James had arrived at exactly the same time. The dorm was right across from the Prefect's Bathroom. "What's the password, James?" Lily asked. James stared at her, looking as though he was about to reply, but she said something shocking that brought him to a stunned silence. She crossed her arms. "What, Potter?"

James grinned. "Never mind. It's _Godric_. I got to choose it. You left Dumbledore's office too early."

"It's alright. I like the one you chose," said Lily stiffly. "Godric," she said to the portrait of all four founders. Godric Gryffindor beamed, and the portrait swung open.

James let Lily in first. Her face slackened into a smile as she looked around. It was considerably smaller than the Gryffindor common room, perhaps because this one was only for accommodation of two people. It was still very homey, however, and Lily liked it. Unlike the Gryffindor dormitories, there were no stairs. There were just two doors at the end of the room. A plaque was on each of the doors. One read, HEAD BOY, and the other read, HEAD GIRL.

"Ah, look, it's Lily," said James brightly. Lily turned to look at him, frowning, confused. James chuckled and pointed to the window, where a snowy owl tapped at the window. "My owl. I named her after you. I just got her this summer. The last one was named Funny. The opposite of serious, you get it?"

Lily laughed, much to her surprise. She shrugged off the fact James' owl was named after her. "Yes, I get it." James opened the window, letting in Lily-owl. The owl perched herself onto the couch, watching Lily. James crossed the room and yawned, twisting the door knob.

"Listen, I'm exhausted. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"See you tomorrow, then," said Lily, eyes furrowed, bemused. She was shocked. Nothing had happened. He hadn't... really flirted with her.

"Good night, Lil." James gave her a smile and walked into his room. Lily-owl fluttered after him, and the door closed. Lily was so confused. _Who is this boy?_

**

Lily sat in the Head common room, watching the grandfather clock. Why wasn't he awake yet? There was only a few minutes to get ready! They were Heads, they couldn't be late! Irritated, she got up with her mug of coffee and rapped on his door. "Potter?" she said loudly. When there was no response, Lily irritably opened the door, immediately feeling embarrassed. James was sprawled on his bed, and he had kicked the blanket off the bed. He was shirtless, naturally. Lily felt her face heat up, but yelled, "James!"

James twisted in his bed, curling up like a young child. Lily even found herself smiling. He mumbled, "No... too early..."

"Too early?" Lily repeated, crossing the room. She stood beside his bed, "Potter, it's _8:15 _in the morning. You have fifteen minutes to get ready!"

James snapped out of his balled up position. His hazel eyes were sleepily staring up at Lily. "You're not my mother..." Then, his eyes opened even wider. "Oh! Lily! Good morning to you, too." He grinned, folding his arms behind his head lazily. He was still staring at Lily. "You're a lovely sight to wake up to, Miss Evans, I hope you know that."

"I've been made aware by you just now," said Lily, hiding her blush with a stony expression, "Get up, Potter!" She was staring fixedly at his pillow, but his well-toned abdominal stood out in the corner of her eye. James didn't miss it. He snickered.

"Get out, Evans, I have to change," said James. He grinned, standing up, ruining Lily's concentration. Her eyes flashed to his arms once or twice. "Or you could stay."

Lily rolled her eyes. This was a bit more natural. "Ha ha. If you're not out in five minutes -"

"I get it, Mother dear," James interrupted, smiling. Lily fought the urge to smile back.

Exactly five minutes later, James was out, looking perfectly acceptable (with the exception, of course, of his wild hair that isn't ever to be tamed). "Shall we head to breakfast, dear?"

"Don't call me that," Lily said shortly, "and sure."

"Er... if you don't mind my asking," said James reluctantly, "did things between you and..."

Lily interrupted: "I didn't talk to him all summer, and I don't plan on talking to him ever again." When Lily said something bad about James, Severus looked triumphant. That was why she was surprised that when she spoke something negative about Severus to James, the latter looked disappointed.

"But... he's your best friend," James tried.

"Was," said Lily. "Why do you care, anyway?"

James shrugged, looking oddly uncomfortable. "I kind of regret... what I did. To make him call you a you-know-what."

Lily looked away, eyes fluttering in shock. "Er. He would have called me mudblood some other time anyway. It's not your fault. He said it."

"I just mean, if I imagine it the other way around. If Sirius said something about me like that... I can't imagine..." James turned to her. "Sorry."

"It's alright. I have Alice and Mary," said Lily, trying to sound confident. She was confused. When he woke up, James was this happy, bright, kid who didn't seem at all seventeen or a Head Boy. Now, he was … sincere. Again, Lily thought in utter bemusement: _Who is this boy?_

**

"Good day, Lil?" James asked, coming in with his Quidditch robes and broom. Lily was lounging on the couch, reading some of her school books, homework laid out in front of her. He flinched. "Ugh. NEWT year... thanks for reminding me how much work I have to do." James dropped some Quidditch figurines on the coffee table where her homework was. He had been making them perform maneuvers for him.

Lily smiled. "Procrastinating, I see. You're going to be busy with Head Boy duties, Quidditch, _and_ NEWT year."

"Don't tell me that again," James said, kicking off his shoes and leaping onto the armchair, lying down sideways on it. He stared up at the ceiling. "Ughhh.. thanks. Now I feel the need to study. Do you need any help with anything?"

"N -" Lily started, staring at the Transfiguration homework in her planner. She remembered the near miss she had with the spell in class today... "Well..."

James saw where her eyes were looking. "Transfiguring inanimate objects to animate?" He pointed his wand at a figurine, and moved his wrist in the correct motion. "Alacritas!" He moved his wand over the other sixteen figurines. "Show me a good hawkshead attacking formation. Starfish and stick, you." He said the last sentence to the keeper, who dangled himself off the miniature broom. Three chasers positioned themselves in a sort of triangle, aiming towards the keeper. After the keeper saved the goal, James said, "Subsisto permoveo." They froze in the air.

Lily watched. "How -?"

"Try it," said James, smiling. "I'll see what you're doing wrong."

Scrunching her face up in concentration, Lily waved her wand in a slight differentiation from the way James did, saying firmly to the little figurines, "Alacritas!" The one Beater she was pointing at seemed to shudder slightly. It moved a while before crashing to the table.

"You're moving your arm wrong," James said gently. "Try it with more a flick, with more active movement from the wrist." He smiled at her patiently. "And believe in yourself." Lily tried to move it the way he suggested first. "No, no, no." James got up and stood behind her couch. He moved his head beside hers, wrapping his palm around her wrist. "Like this."

Lily forced herself to find the breath she had lost and let James guide her hand. "Okay, I think I have it," she said hastily, so he would let go of her wrist. James leaned back. His palms were pressed against the back of the couch, all weight against it.

"Alright," James said, "show me."

Swallowing, hopefully not loudly, Lily took a deep breath and performed the wrist movement properly. "Alacritas!" She pointed it at the Chaser, frozen in the air. It started moving. Lily burst into a grin. "Yeah!"

James grinned. "Hey, good job, Evans!" He held his hand up for high-five.

Lily stared at it, then gave James a smile. She hit his hand with hers, beaming proudly. "Thank you, James."

"You're toggling between James and Potter," said James, smiling. He sat back down. The flying chaser zoomed toward him. "Go give her a kiss," he ordered.

Lily watched the little figure zoom towards her. Suddenly, Lily realized that the little figurines were the Gryffindor Quidditch team, and the Chaser was James. She shielded her face. "Oh, shoo, tiny Potter." The Chaser smirked at her and flew back to the table. James wore an identical smug look on his face.

"So? Why aren't you calling me Potter, all the time?" James asked.

Lily shrugged. "I don't know. We're... kind of friends, now, aren't we?"

"I suppose so," James replied, still smiling to himself, as though remembering a funny joke to himself. "I'm going to study in my room, Lily. I'll never get anything done in here. You distract me easily." He winked, and went off to his room.

Again, Lily found the corners of her lips turned upwards. These Potter mood swings were confusing her. Did he still fancy her, or not? She stared at the door James had just disappeared into, then back at her homework. She shook her head, still smiling, and asked herself: _Who is this boy?_

_

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_

**You know you want to review... :)**


	3. Chapter 3: A Mountain Troll Moment

Hello there, lovely readers :) This chapter is _close _to having the fluff I am dying to write, but unfortunately, my fic's Lily has the restraint. The name of this chapter is referring to the Sorcerers' Stone Halloween, when the Golden Trio first became friends. I believe JKR said something along the lines of, 'There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them'.

You are all intelligent people, I trust? You should know I'm not JKR.

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 3: A Mountain Troll Moment**_

Lily Evans strolled along the grounds, quite alone, and quite enjoying it. She walked across the trees, thinking. She was thinking about many things, but luckily, none of them were about NEWTs, Head duties, and especially not James Potter. She was thinking about happy times with Severus Snape. She was also thinking about happy times with Petunia. She sighed wistfully. Where had those days gone?

"Lily!"

There wasn't a need to turn around. Lily knew the voice well enough. She started walking quickly. "You mean, 'mudblood'," she snarled. Snape put a hand on her shoulder and turned her around.

"Lily, please, just hear me out," he begged. The redhead's expression didn't soften. She crossed her arms, right hand holding her wand. Her eyes were narrowed coldly. Snape flinched. "I swear, Lily, come on... it's me, Sev. Your best friend. I never meant to say that. It just slipped..."

"You say the same thing," Lily snapped, "every year."

"The mudblood bothering you, Snape?"

Lily knew those voices, too. She felt a little scared as the intimidating Avery and Yaxley moved out from the trees. They were grinning wickedly.

"No," said Snape coolly, "you can leave."

"Nonsense," said Yaxley, eyes gleaming with the idea of hexing Lily. She put up a brave face to it, but didn't speak. Yaxley continued, "Of course she's bothering you, Snape. Mudbloods bother anybody and everybody."

"_Furnculus_!" Avery exclaimed with a grin. Lily's hands flew to her face, dropping her wand. She let out a cry as boils sprouted over her skin. She wanted to scream for someone. Her first thought went to James, but he wasn't here. She thought of Severus. Lily thought she would help her. He stood there, looking terrified and frozen, unsure of what to do.

Both Yaxley and Avery laughed. Yaxley guffawed: "Ah, you look much better, now, mudblood!"

"Cruc -" began Avery excitedly.

A new voice called out from the trees. "_Expelliarmus_!" James Potter looked hateful. Through the boils on her face, she could see the anger in his eyes, and Lily felt like he was a new person. He looked like a new, terrifying person. "_Accio_, Lily's wand!" He handed it to her, then stepped in front of her. Avery stood wandless, standing beside Yaxley. Behind him was Snape, who probably looked just as angry as James.

"Hello, Potter," said Avery coldly.

"Thirty five points from Slytherin," he declared, voice filled with contempt, "for attacking the Head Girl and almost using an Unforgivable Curse. You should be expelled for getting half way through the word. Dumbledore will hear from this. If you hurt her anymore, I will hurt you, no matter how much points I lose. Now, leave."

Snape looked uncertain to leave as the other Slytherins grudgingly stalked off. He sent a glare to James and then ran off. James quickly turned and muttered a counter-curse. Lily was crying as her boils disappeared. "Oh, Lily, don't cry. Don't give them the satisfaction. Lily, come on." He was hesitant. "Would you hurt me if I hugged you?"

Lily was starting to laugh-cry. She flung her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. "Thank you, James."

James hugged her tightly. It wasn't even... like that. He just wanted to comfort her. "You're very welcome. Lil, come on. Be a Gryffindor." He said the last sentence like one might say, 'be a man'. Lily had stopped crying. She leaned back and smiled weakly, looking slightly amused. James looked strained as they stared at each other. Lily frowned somewhat.

"What's wrong?"

James shook his head. "I want to kiss you, but I don't want boils on my face."

Lily laughed, and let go. She wiped some of the tears dangling from her lashes and said weakly, "I'm not... crying... because they hurt me."

"Why, then?" James asked patiently.

The voice that replied to him was distant, sad, and a near whisper: "He didn't defend me." James sighed. Lily said helplessly, "I don't know... but I expected him to help me! I wanted him to... I thought..." She wiped some tears that had started falling again, but just started crying again. She buried her face in her hands.

"Shh, shh," James soothed, wrapping his arms around her again.

"I'm not going to cry," said Lily, forcing herself to stop crying, "I won't. Won't. Won't. Won't."

"He's a big fat jerkface, alright, Lily? He's not worth crying over," said James gently, "Anyone who deserts you in your time of need is a terrible person."

"And that makes you... the opposite... of a terrible person?" Lily asked, smiling.

"Damn right!" James agreed cheerfully. Lily laughed.

"Thank you, James," said Lily again. "Merlin, I'm pathetic."

James shook his head. "No, you aren't," he said fiercely. "Trust me. I swear, we can go through Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, and Hufflepuff. I promise, they'll say you aren't pathetic. Come on. Let's go back up to the dorm. I have chocolate frogs."

**

**Errrm... I kind of liked that better? How about you? REVIEW :D I have crayons... and updates ;)**


	4. Chapter 4: The 4 B's

**xOCDxObsessiveCullenDisorderx –** Thank you! 3 I'm glad it's realistic. My previous problem was sticking in character. My new problem is making everything interesting :P

**lizzielou –** Thank you very much :) More updates? *waves wand* There you go, update!

**avalena – **Hehe, he makes me smile, too 3 More fluff will come... soon! This had some fluff, but I have more cotton ball fluff waiting. Thanks for the review!

**You're Just As Sane As I Am **- -hands over some nummy crayons- Don't choke on them ;) Thanks. I'm very happy at my quick updation... updating... too! :D Which is why I have another one right here! OO TWISTABLE CRAYONS.

This was a pointless chapter, kind of.

Snape: Just to let everyone know, I do like Snape. He is one of my favorite characters. He defines the perfect anti-hero and I love him for that. I am a very strict James/Lily shipper, though, so whenever Snape tries to interfere with the flawlessness that is James and Lily, I have to taunt him a _little_. Which is part of the reason he is involved so much in this fic. He must be in it! (You can see it in my other James/Lily fic, too.)

It would take a lot to **b**eguile you intelligent people that I am J.K. Rowling. Me? J.K. Rowling? How **b**ogus.

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 4: Four B's**_

_Boisterousness  
_

"I can't believe you don't hate him!" Sirius exclaimed, sitting across from Lily and James. Beside Sirius were Peter and Remus. Beside Lily were Alice and Mary. They were having dinner in the Great Hall, and in the table behind them, Snape looked on murderously, his expression suggesting that he might want to break something.

Lily grinned and patted James' cheek filled with food. "Who could hate this face?" James smirked, gulping down the food stuffed in his mouth.

"And anyway, she has to," said James, shrugging.

"Do I?" Lily gave him a questioning look.

Alice cut in: "Yes. 'Strictly professional, just friends, I have to.' That's what she told me and Mary, isn't that right?" The Marauders caught the disappointment on James' face, and for once contained with tact, did not say anything. Lily and her friends didn't see it.

"That's right," Mary agreed. "Nothing more."

"Ah -" Alice clumsily spilled a glass of pumpkin juice, suddenly. "Oh, sorry, sorry!" she apologized hastily to Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"It's okay, Alice, we have our clumsy moments," said Remus patiently.

Lily giggled. "Oh, Alice. How obvious could you be?" She and Mary were stifling their laughs.

"What is it?" Peter asked curiously. Mary pointed her chin in the general direction of where Frank Longbottom had just walked off.

"Oh," said James and Sirius. Both of them shared identical grins. James nodded to Sirius, who stood up in his seat.

"Oh, no, no, Sirius, please, no," begged Alice. Lily smiled, patting her shoulder. Sirius was grinning insanely.

Sirius relentlessly made a circle around his lips with his hands and yelled: "Hey! Longbottom!" Frank spun around. "Want to go out with Thomas this Friday?"

"How 'bout Saturday? I have some studying to do," Frank called out. Alice gasped, mouthing some words, but no sound came out. Her eyes sparkled in excitement.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Saturday! Any day!" Alice said excitedly. Frank smiled at her, saluted, then sat down beside his friend, who was smirking at his red face, for Frank looked slightly flushed as well. "Ohmygosh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She bounced in her seat. The Marauders laughed.

"She's been dying to go out with him since fifth year," Mary informed the Marauders. Alice smacked her. Lily was glancing at her watch.

"Erm, James, can we go?" Lily asked awkwardly. "Um, you know... I have homework."

James chuckled. "Oh, come on, Lily, they're your friends. They ought to know you're getting Transfiguration help from _me_."

Sirius gasped theatrically. "Lily, our Lily Evans, is getting homework help from James, our James Potter?" He pretended to faint, dropping his head on Remus' shoulder.

"Sirius," Remus started exasperatedly.

James grinned. "Yes, because our Lily is incapable of doing_ this_ without my help..." He wrapped his arm around Lily, holding her wrist and twisting it around like he did the other night.

This was not a good thing, Lily knew. His arm encased her shoulders, hugging her closer to him. She nearly snuggled against his body, but leaned casually the other way. She could smell him. He smelled like fresh grass, and the Head dormitory. The Head dormitory had the faint smell of Lily's perfume, and papers. Often, it rained, and when it did, the door was open. James smelled like rain, papers, and... _Lily_. Lily thought to herself fiercely, _Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush, … oh Merlin._ Her face heated up very obviously, red growing onto her cheeks embarrassingly. Alice and Mary started giggling. "What are you laughing at?" she said snappishly, but she was smiling sheepishly to them. _I am not, not, not, not... not..._

James winked at the Marauders from behind Lily's back. Behind him, Snape stared disgustedly at his plate and pushed it away, looking as though he might puke.

"Alright, alright, James, let go," said Lily in the most patience voice she could muster – which wasn't very patient. Lily shrugged off James' arm. She stood up and stalked off, shoulders squared, only out of embarrassment. As soon as she thought they couldn't see her face, Lily smiled a little to herself. James grinned at the Marauders and rushed after her.

_Bets_

Once James and Lily we're out of earshot, Sirius looked around at the group. "Are we taking bets on how long it's going to take for Lily to realize she's falling head over heels for Mr. Potter?"

"At least by Christmas," said Alice confidently.

"Oh, not that far away?" Peter asked, shaking his head. "I think next week."

"Hmm... no," Remus disagreed. "James is too tactful now. He'll wait a while, Peter."

Sirius snorted. "James wouldn't touch tactful with a ten foot pole."

"No!" Mary said to Sirius. "Have you seen how careful he acts around Lily? I agree with Remus."

"Maybe three weeks," Remus suggested.

"I thought we were discussing when _Lily _would realize she's falling for James?" Alice demanded. "In that case, I know my best friend. She's going to be in denial for a long time."

Mary nodded, shrugging. "Alice has a good point there."

"But she'll soften up eventually, right?" asked Remus. "James has been trying."

"Trying," said a different voice, "but I don't think he'll succeed."

_Bitterness_

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "You mean, you don't _want _him to succeed, Snivellus. Now, go away. Lily hasn't any business with you anymore. Not after _that day_, you know." Snape's sullen features stretched into a pained look. His eyes flashed as the memory surfed through his thoughts. He snarled and drew his wand angrily, mouth opening.

"Not here, Mr. Snape!" said Professor McGonnagal sharply, coming down the aisle. "And you, Mr. Black, provoking him! Five points from both Slytherin and Gryffindor." Sirius huffed. Snape stalked away, glaring at the floor. Professor McGonnagal left just as Snape did.

"Are we agreeing on a month, then?" Sirius asked quietly.

* * *

_Believing_

Sirius would be surprised. Lily was closer to believing than any of them had thought.

The two Hogwarts Heads were silently reading through books. They had been studying. They were past Transfiguration, because Lily insisted that James needed to study his own subjects as well. Lily broke the pristine silence with a murmur: "You'll probably kill me, but -"

"I would never kill you, Lily dear," James replied in undertone. "As a matter of fact, I would try to keep you alive as much as possible."

Continuing the barely audible voices, Lily said, "Don't call me that." She paused, smiling. "I've never been on a broom."

"Yes, you have. First year," said James.

"I … I never really flew," Lily admitted. "Do you not remember?" James leaned back in the armchair, trying to remember. They had been with the Slytherins. Madam Hooch looked most impressed with his talent. Lily had... struggled. Certainly, she had sat on the broom, and rose off the ground. James knew the difference between rising off the ground and flying. Flying was an experience. Rising off the ground was... well, rising off the ground.

"Yes, I remember," James murmured. "I'll teach you. I like teaching you." He waved a hand over the papers in front of them, motioning to the assignments to make his point. "You're a fast learner." Then, the peace started again. They were quiet. James was leaning back casually in his seat, a hand behind his head, the other hand holding a Potions paper.

Then, Lily looked.

Lily always saw James. She saw his face, every single day. She knew that he had hazel eyes, glasses, an athletic build, and messy, raven black hair. However, it was now that she truly saw him. Her eyes raked over his face. Black locks shadowed his tanned forehead, cutting in between eyebrows furrowed in concentration. Even now, his hazel eyes sparkled with mischief, while studying. They were, perhaps, an echo of his mischievousness, but they were still the same innocently clever James Potter playful gleam. His lips were a shadow of a smirk. His tall body was sprawled gracefully on the crimson armchair, his torso slouching lazily.

Lily realized something as well, just then. James had never changed. He had always been the same: filled with pranks, and even arrogant. Including now, he was. James had only just let Lily see a different side of him this year. The sincere, caring, side of him. A moving image flashed to her head. She was wrapped in James' arms, and he soothed her. He made her smile. Lily was happy to have him as a friend. She smiled to herself. Lily's eyes did not leave him. She continued to gaze on, filled with awe at how blind she had been for so long. For all those years, she had missed out on having a close friend like James, only because she refused to see the plain obvious. James' hazel eyes traveled upwards, and their eyes met. James smiled. Not a conceited grin, but a gentle, curious show of pleasantness. "What are you looking at, Lily?"

Shrugging, Lily replied simply: "You."

**

Yes, the mention of Quidditch is necessary! :P

**Reviews, si'l vous plait, per favore, por favor, bitte, alstublieft, parakalo, pahzalsta, onegai shimasu, qing? I would appreciate it!**


	5. Chapter 5: Denial and the Rain

I'm running out of friendship-themed ideas! Blahh! I suck at long-term fics! This is why I write one-shots! So sorry that my updationing (hehe, get it, You're Just As Sane As I Am? Yeah? Updationing?) skills have decreased. Not only have I started school, but my Harry Potter inspiration has died out. Sort of. I'm also unsure that I'm going to be able to do this for the entire year. I'm updating (as) fast (as I can), and I don't have long-term fic ideas. I'm a one-shot kid, haha.

DENIAL! DENIAL! I AM DENYING THAT I'M J.K. ROWLING! I ADMIT IT! I'M NOT J.K.R.!

(I'm running out of witty disclaimers.)

(Denial totally looks weird to me now. De-Nile. The Nile.)

_**How to Survive a Year With James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 5: Denial and the Rain  
**_

Although things felt a bit carefree at Hogwarts, the daily tormenting from Slytherins reminded Lily that there were imperfections in this world. One of those painful flaws was the fact that her ex best friend wanted to help a powerful, evil, wizard, who wanted to kill people like her. Lily did not sleep well with that fact. She had dreams. They were terrible dreams. The last night was particularly eventful:

"_No! Severus, please! Don't! Please! I'm sorry!" Lily screamed desperately, tears flooding from her emerald eyes. "Sev, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"_

"_Filthy little mudblood," Severus snarled scathingly. His wand moved skillfully, and his mouth moved: "Crucio!"_

"_No!' Lily cried, sobbing as the flash of red light sped towards her. Suddenly, out of nowhere, James jumped in. So did Alice, and Mary, and Sirius, and Remus, and Peter. They jumped in between the red beam. Severus laughed, pointing his wand at each of them, and they all shrieked and writhed in pain. "No! Don't hurt them! Hurt me!" Seeing the look of utter terror and distress on James' face, she sobbed, "James, James..."_

_The Slytherin pointed at the person closest to him. James. Lily continued to say his name. She didn't know if she screamed it, or whispered it. She did. She kept saying his name, desperately. Her legs moved, but James didn't seem to get closer. Severus' mouth seemed to move in slow motion: "Avada kedavr..."_

"Lily!" The door shot open, and Lily sat up, sweating, red-faced.

"James! You're alright!" Lily stared at him, sitting in her bed. She started crying. James looked confused. He rushed over and pulled her into his arms.

"Lily, what's wrong? What happened? Tell me about it," he said gently, "it's alright. It was just a dream." Lily didn't respond. She cried into his shoulder, feeling oddly comfortable.

"Severus – you – cruc... Alice – Mary," Lily sobbed. It was only the sound of her sobbing they heard. Then, she stopped crying and pushed him away, swatting the hand that was stroking her hair. "No."

James looked baffled. "Lily, what is going on? I was just trying to..."

"No... no..." Lily whispered. She dove into the sheets. "Get out of my bed, Po – James. I'll see you in the morning." Still bemused, James had left, but don't tell Lily: he returned with his cloak, ready to comfort her if she needed. The only dreams she had after that were quite pleasant, regarding unicorns, Quidditch, and a walrus named Vernon getting married to her sister. It was an amusing wedding.

**

Lily was starting to get confused. One moment, James felt like a different version of Severus: her best mate. Whenever Lily felt sad, he was... different. That "different" made Lily feel something. She didn't know what it was. It was a feeling Lily was unfamiliar with. She didn't know how to deal with it. Not knowing how to deal with those confusing emotions led Lily to running away from the moment. Well, it was actually the moments, not moment. Take this other one for example:

"Do you know where James is, Sirius? I need to talk to him about … Head stuff," said Lily vaguely. The "Head stuff" involved pranks that she was sure that the Marauders were included in.

"Took a walk," said Sirius, leaning back in his seat casually and gracefully. "This Head stuff... you aren't going to confess your love for him, are you?" He was bordering close on his bet, and he had to do some prodding! Technically, it was cheating, but technically, it wasn't...! (That's how Sirius thought of it.)

Lily turned red, but covered it with a dry chuckle. "Where do you get your ideas, Sirius?"

"Are you denying it?"

"I don't need to deny anything. There's nothing worth denying," said Lily, struggling to keep her voice from stuttering pathetically, "I'm not denying anything."

Sirius laughed. "Are you denying you have denial, Lily?"

"Wha -? I told yo – I don't need – denial – I'm looking for James!" Lily stammered stupidly, ending the spluttering with what she hoped was a firm declaration. She decided it wasn't exactly a firm declaration, because as she stalked out of the common room, Sirius was laughing. Loudly. Once again dumbfounded, Lily walked in deep thought towards the grounds. Maybe Sirius had a point. _Was_ she...? No! _Lily Evans, don't think like that! Ever! You are not falling for James Potter. You're good friends, that's all. Why wouldn't he be my friend? He's nice, and funny, and … don't finish that thought, Lilian! No! NO! _She thought like this all the way down to the lawns.

The thoughts of denial – wait, that wasn't denial, there's no need for denial – were interrupted by a strange sight. It was James Potter, lying down on the grass and staring at the sky.

Why is this strange?

Lily stepped closer. There was no sound. He didn't flinch. He was unmoving, still. His palms were behind his head, his head of messy black hair. One of his knees was bent, pointing up towards the sky. He looked so relaxed, but Lily saw something else. She moved even closer. How had he not seen her? You can't miss a red head. She watched his eyes. They glistened with tears. His hazel eyes were wet, reflecting the dark clouds he stared at. Lily felt a strange urge to hug him.

The Gryffindor girl felt a drop of rain splash onto her nose. She stared up at the sky as well. A fast-approaching raindrop sped towards her face. She brought her chin back down and stepped closer to James. "James?" was the whisper.

James stared up at the sky. Only his dry lips moved. "Hello, Lily."

"Is there something wrong, James?" Lily knelt down beside him. There was no response, for a long time. James closed his eyes. The tears were more visible, at the bottom of his eyelid. Lily saw tears cling to his eyelashes, and some of them drip down from his cheek. James didn't move, still. Lily might have thought he died, if she didn't see his chest rising and falling.

James opened his mouth and uttered, "Yes."

"What is it?"

"Voldemort," James whispered. "I'm ..." He stopped, opening his eyes. Lily wanted to cry with him. His eyes were pained and oddly thoughtful. Lily inched closer towards him, giving him a patient look. She didn't ask him to continue. He did, anyway: "... scared."

Lily smiled sadly. "You're a pureblood, James. You're safe."

James gave her a look. The look was mixed with his previous agony and now, with exasperation. "What kind of person do you think I am, Lily? I'm not just scared for me. I have muggle friends. I have muggleborn friends. I'm scared for all of them." Their eyes met. "I'm scared for you." His eyes raked over her face, smiling again just a little bit. Lily blushed, feeling awkward. "I'm scared..." His smile faded.

"There's nothing wrong with that, James," she breathed fiercely, "I'm scared, too." Lily lay down beside him, hugging her knees. "But I'm scared for me."

"You would be stupid not to be," James murmured. His head twisted around to look at her. "Have I gotten better, Lily?"

"Gotten better at what?" Lily asked. "We had just been talking about Voldemort, James."

James smiled. "I know. Have I changed? Have I gotten better than what I was, last year?" Lily smiled back, closing her eyes, but smiling. She remembered what she had told herself the one night in the common room. He had not changed, he had not gotten better. He was always there. Lily was just too blind to see it. James gazed on at her for a second, then back up at the sky. He didn't need to hear her response; he knew what it was.

James Potter stared up at the sky, tears still wet on his hazel eyes. He let his tears join the rain.

**

I'm totally progressing too fast. :) I wanted to do this through the school year, and here I am, at the denial stage already.

I _had_ to write that last part. It's inspired by "Cry" by Mandy Moore. I was listening to it play, simultaneously thinking about the fic, and I got a light-bulb moment. I didn't want to make it a song-fic, though. I can never make those work, and I always skip the lyrics anyway. Ha. To give you an idea of what inspired me most:

"_You were all by yourself  
Staring up at a dark gray sky  
I was changed _

_  
__In places no one will find  
All your feelings so deep inside  
Was there that I realized  
That forever was in your eyes  
The moment I saw you cry  
The moment that I saw you cry_"

This part also inspired me for what Lily felt:

"_I wanted to hold you  
I wanted to make it go away  
I wanted to know you  
I wanted to make your everything  
Alright_"

Yeah? :D Hehe. I hope you enjoyed that.

**A review is an evaluation of a publication, such as a movie, video game, musical composition, book, or a piece of hardware like a car, home appliance, or computer. I would like one for my birthday. Um... never mind about my birthday. I would like one in the near future. Er... wait, no. Not the near future. NOW. :D Please?**


	6. Chapter 6: The Green Monster's Blade I

As you can see, my dears, I'm on a roll.

… I am jealous of JKR. I can't be jealous of myself, so clearly, I'm not JKR. Deal with it.

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 6: The Green Monster's Blade Part I**_

There was an awful lot of whispering going on at Hogwarts lately.

Lily Evans didn't like it. She was walking alone in the halls. The words bothered her: "James?" "Who?" "Are you kidding?" "I always thought..." "Not Evans?" "What about Lily?" They gave her strange, pitiful looks in the hallways. Some of them were snickers, embarrassed blushes... in a flurry of agitation, Lily rushed to Potions just as the bell was about to ring. She practically ran up to her seat beside Alice. Her eyes flashed to James, who sat a few tables away. He hadn't told her anything... you would think he would, considering they live together.

"Have you heard?" Alice breathed. Lily groaned. Alice knew, everyone knew! They all knew something about James that Lily didn't. That bothered Lily. They were close friends, and they lived together! She should know! She barely got to respond. Professor Slughorn burst into the dungeon, beaming as usual. Lily didn't have to listen. If she had to, she could teach the lesson. Amortentia... a review from last year. This wouldn't be too hard. Lily didn't have to think about it as she worked. Instead, her thoughts went to James.

_Is he keeping something from me? Why? _Lily was in distress, and it bothered her to think about why she was so anguished. Lily searched the previous conversations between her and James, for any significance. At the end of class, James practically bolted out of the classroom. Lily didn't miss the exchanged looks between Alice, Mary, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. What was going on? She rushed out of the classroom after James, searching through the crowd for his face. She saw the back of his head. He turned to his left. Lily could see the glee on his face... what was he looking at? His voice rang clear out of the chatter of the crowd:

"Hey, Emily!"

What?

Emily?

Emily Ackerley?

Emily Ackerley of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team?

What?

Why?

… _What?_

"Hey, James," Emily Ackerley greeted, grinning. Lily knew her. They were friends, sort of. She was a nice girl. She was friendly, and she had been a prefect. Emily was a Ravenclaw; Lily could trust she had good grades. Overall, Lily liked her. That suddenly changed. James gave her a smirk – _that's _my _smirk_, Lily thought agonizingly – and gave her a hug around the waist. Lily's eyes widened. That was too close for her own comfort. She ran. She ran past James, up the stairs. Another blow to her heart: he didn't call out to her, not even a questioning, "Lily?". Nothing. Her thoughts immediately went to what he did, when Severus and his friends had hurt her. She thought about that time he cried, asking if he had changed. She thought about his hand stroking her hair, and his sweet, gentle, soothing voice. She thought about his laugh, his arms around her body, encasing her, making her feel safe -

NO! The word rang clear and firmly in her mind. She was not thinking any of those things. Yet, his face was in his mind so clearly. Lily groaned out to the empty hallway. She was going ballistic.

After some more thinking, Lily had no answers. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She was not thinking rationally. It was a long time until Alice and Mary found her.

"Where were you after Potions?" Mary demanded.

"I -" Lily's voice broke.

"Lily?" Alice asked, concerned. "What's wrong?"

"Why do I feel like this?" she whispered, slouching against the wall of the corridor. She sank down, banging her forehead on her knee.

Alice and Mary bent down beside her. "Don't hurt yourself, Lil," said Alice, "come on. What's wrong?"

"James..."

"Are you jealous?" Mary demanded immediately. She wasn't going to lose her bet to _Sirius Black. _She and Remus bet a bit later during the year. If Lily was falling for him now, Mary was in trouble. She was broke.

"No!" Lily insisted immediately. "Definitely not."

Mary looked slightly relieved. "Then, what's wrong?"

Lily groaned, resuming banging her head on her knee. "I don't know!"

"Come on, you two, think about it," said Alice. "Seven years, in James' spotlight. Then suddenly, Emily Ackerley shoves Lily out of that spotlight and steps into it. Don't you think it makes sense, Lily? You're not jealous. You're just... worried, in a jealous way."

Lily laughed without humor. "Yeah... I'm thinking irrationally. We'll still be friends, right?" Without waiting for a response, she nodded once, leaped up, and said: "Yes. I'm going to my dorm. Thanks for your help, girls." Then, Lily was running again. She ran towards the dorm.

**

Emily is nice. :) I don't like it when James dates the sluts. I mean, if he likes Lily, then we have an idea of what his taste is, don't we? So, we're just going to have to find another way for them to get together, eh? ;)

I liked writing this chapter. :)

REVIEWS. PLEASE.


	7. Chapter 7: The Green Monster's Blade II

I'm sorry for the long wait! I've been having fun preparing for NaNoWriMo (I know it's still a while til it starts, but last year I gave up so easily – I'm getting ready this year), and I have had so much homework. Figure skating practice on top of that... :) So here's a new one for you all. 3

I have been telling you six times... I'm not JKR! Isn't that enough?

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 7: The Green Monster's Blade Part II**_

There are so many things Lily Evans can stand. She can almost stand her best friend betraying her, she can stand friendly teasing from Sirius, she can sort of stand being the apple of James Potter's eye for six years straight. When it comes to public displays of affection, she can stand hand holding, hugging, a peck on the cheek... but when you walk in on full-out snogging, that's another story. Lily considered running again, but no. James and Emily were already staring at her awkwardly, now sitting on opposite sides of the couch. The two of them looked windswept, embarrassed, and slightly breathless."Er, I'm really sorry," Lily apologized, face burning. "I … I didn't think ..."

"It's alright, Lily. It's our fault. After all, you live here, you couldn't stay outside," said Emily. She was smiling. "I think we already know each other, I suppose, but I'm Emily Ackerley." She held out a hand. Lily smiled back, praying to Merlin that she wasn't blushing as much as she felt she was.

"Lily Evans," Lily said, thinking that it came out a bit like a sigh. "Er." She quickly thought of something to avoid an awkward silence and complimented, "You did excellently last game, Emily. I was rooting for Ravenclaw."

"Good," said Emily, with a small laugh, "because I would be worried if you were cheering for Slytherin."

Lily laughed a little, as well, remembering back to when she sometimes _did _root for Slytherin. Severus beside her, both of them cheering on the players of green and silver. "You're very talented, Emily. I'm impressed with anyone who can fly _and _hit the bludgers at the same time." James beamed proudly, and went over to give Emily a one-armed hug.

"She's amazing, isn't she?" he agreed, pressing his lips to her forehead. Lily wanted to look anywhere but at the two of them, at that moment. "Alright, my two favorite ladies, I'm … off … to hang with the Marauders. You can stay and get to know Lily, Em. I'm sure you two will like each other."

Emily stage whispered to Lily, "He means break some rules with the Marauders." Lily nearly had to force a laugh.

"He better not be meaning that," Lily said, glaring jokingly at James, who smiled at her.

"Of course not," said James, waving a careless hand. "Until we meet again, darling!" He curtsied and pretended to blow kisses as he walked out of the dormitory. Lily wanted to reply... after all, he did call her things like dear, darling, sweetheart. Emily, instead, pretended to catch his kisses.

Emily flopped onto the couch as soon as James had left. "Goodness, Lily."

Lily's eyebrows furrowed. "Hm?"

"He's so sweet, he's hilarious, and you would have to be blind not to see how gorgeous he is," said Emily, closing her eyes. She sighed contentedly. "I cannot believe you turned him down for two years straight."

**

It was a month. A month of James and Emily. Emily was probably doodling "Emily Potter" all over her notebooks, by now.

Those who were betting on the Lily and James couple were starting to get worried. Especially since Lily was getting close to Emily. The two of them could have been best friends. Emily started hanging out with the Gryffindor girls just as much as she spent time with her Ravenclaw friends. Mary, who was getting dangerously close to losing her bet, tried as much as possible to find something wrong with Emily, but the girl was virtually perfect.

"Get ready to get crushed, Potter," said Emily, smirking. James' arm was around her waist, the eight of them walking out of the Great Hall. The two of them were ready to play the only Quidditch game they did against each other while dating. Not only that, but it was the Quidditch Inter-House Cup. This was worth a lot.

James laughed and kissed her shortly. "Mm..." he said against her lips, in full view of the Marauders, Lily, Alice, and Mary, "... that's wrongly phrased, Em. It is, 'I'm ready to get pummeled, Jamesie', what you should be saying."

Emily laughed and gave him her own brief kiss. She wrenched herself out of his grip, smiling, "You're the gentleman, James, aren't you?" She grinned "We have to get ready. Come with me, Lily, Alice, Mary?" The four girls left the four boys.

James seemed to breathe a sigh of relief when Emily left. Relief, not giddiness. Sirius was able to catch the tone of his exhale. He asked, "Something up, Prongs?"

"Yes," said James hesitantly.

"With Emily?" Peter asked, almost hopefully. He had only this weekend until all hopes of winning the bet flew out the window. It would take a miracle, but he had to at least try.

"Sort of," James replied slowly. "I mean, she's great. Just like Lily, almost. Just a bit..."

"You're not still fancying Lily, are you?" asked Remus worriedly, "The two of them are close friends now, James. You can't -"

"No, no," James interrupted, shaking his head. "Dating Emily is how I dreamed dating Lily would be like, I mean. Of course I don't have feelings for Lily anymore. Maybe, little moments, I start... well... but that's because it's hard to quit fancying someone you've fancied for so long. Anyway, I'm kind of worried."

"About?" Sirius asked. "Prongs, what's going on?"

James winced. "Pads... er... I said the two of them were really alike, right? Just in one small detail..."

"_James, what is it_?" the three other Marauders demanded.

"I just noticed... that Emily's really competitive. This is the first time we've played against each other since we started dating, remember?" James reminded them. "I'm worried."

"You'll be fine, Prongs," Remus assured him.

"You might lose," Peter pointed out.

"Yes, Peter, certainly. Thank you for that even more enlightening perspective."

**

"Ackerley with the Quaffle! She makes a fantastic pass to Diggory, and he goes for the shoot – and a fantastic save by Bones!" echoed Sirius. The Gryffindor supporters roared with excitement. Emily looked frustrated. James took the Quaffle, speeding towards the Ravenclaw goal. "And James, Chaser spectacular, prankster extraordinaire, proud Marauder – yes, yes, Professor, can't a man be proud of his best mate? James makes the pass to Prewett... and here it goes... GRYFFINDOR SCORES!"

Lily gazed on anxiously. "How do you think Em looks, girls?" She turned to Alice and Mary.

"I saw her glare daggers at Edgar," said Alice, making a face, "I think her competitive instinct is kicking in."

Mary nodded. "This can't be good." Of course, in Alice and Mary's mind, they were thinking that it _was_ a good thing. The needed their galleons, and frankly, they were getting close to losing them.

"Longbottom takes the Quaffle from Ackerley – well done, Frank, sorry, Emily!" Sirius' voice boomed over the pitch. "Gryffindor Chasers speeding toward the Ravenclaw hoops – hold on a second: has Wood seen the Snitch?" The crowd seemed to move in one motion, eyes turning toward Richard Wood, the Gryffindor seeker. Mark Davies, the Ravenclaw seeker, seemed to see the same thing. The two of them sped towards the Snitch.

Lily was screaming: "Come on, Richard!!! Get it! Get it!" Her eyes flickered towards Emily, who looked angry, disgruntled, and sour. Richard knocked Mark's hand out of the way, and seized the Snitch. The Gryffindor supporters were going crazy. Lily was hugging Alice and Mary excitedly. "We won the Cup!"

Beside them, a second year pointed at the bottom of the pitch. "Look!"

James was striding toward Emily, who stomped towards the Ravenclaw changing room. "Em!" he called out to her desperately. "Emily!" She didn't turn around.

Lily looked to Alice and Mary. Their expressions were carbon copies. Their features said everything. _What now?_

* * *

I'm sorry; this was slightly rushed. I wanted to get the chapter to you ASAP :) REVIEW PLEASE.


	8. Chapter 8: Torn and Confused

You know what the best thing to wake up to is? 22 emails, from , all of them notifications that I got reviews, that Dummies is getting a gazillion story alerts, I got favorite authors and author alert, even Picture Perfect and Wingardium Leviosa got favorited! Yay! I totally thought nobody was ever going to read those two again. It's quite lovely. Gives me a happy, fluffy feeling that makes me think: You know what? I'm going to update as soon as I can, because you all are made of awesome.

Nathpollen – Hehe, yes, me too. I'm glad you agree.

You're Just As Sane As I Am – Yeah! In chapter 6! -poke- Thank you :D

Fresh Water Plimpy – lol I already sent you a message. Why did I do that? I could have addressed you here. Geez. I'm stupid. I love your pen name, by the way!

xOCDxObsessiveCullenDisorderx – That's good! I guess. :P I'm kind of stalling them to get together. Shh.

RawrTwisted – Haha! Don't worry, that flattered me more than got me creeped out xD Thanks, I think.

By the way, I have a one-shot in the works. I need to stop writing James/Lily and get a Harry/Ginny out there... or maybe an Oliver/Katie. Hmm...

I'm torn between lying, saying I'm JKR, or telling the truth... that I'm not... tough decision. Wait a second, that's not tough at all! I'm _not _JKR!

(Can you see the decline in my wittiness?)

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 8: Torn and Confused**_

_Torn_

"Prongs, it's not even that big a deal -"

"- yeah, I mean, there are other fish in the sea -"

"There are _better_ girls!"

Remus, Peter, and Sirius just continued to comfort James like this, who was sitting in the Head dormitory, lying on his bed staring at the ceiling. He moved his mouth to respond, but none of them would let him talk. James opened his lips:

Sirius burst out: "It's not like you two were actually serious, anyway!"

"Yes, that's you," said Remus and Peter tiredly.

James gave Sirius a glare. "I was going to say, I broke up with _her_."

Silence.

Remus said quietly, "You... what?"

"I don't know. I was thinking, sitting outside the changing room," said James slowly, sitting up, "why am I so desperate? Why would I want to date someone who is such a sore loser? I kind of felt guilty thinking that, you know, 'cause nobody's perfect. I thought that for a second, and then decided, whatever. I'm going to keep dating her. I wasn't... sure. When she went out of the changing room, and I just looked into her eyes, I just... 'We have to break up.'" James stared at the bottom of his bed for a second, then groaned and flopped back down. His eyes looked confused. He was still in his Quidditch robes. He did not look at all upset.

What James probably expected from his friends were: "You great, bloody, git!" or "Has your mind gone?" or "But _why_?!"

What he most certainly did not expect was silence. He looked at his friends' faces. They were curiously torn at what to say.

**

_and Confused_

"You know what?" Emily whispered.

"Yes, Emily?" asked Lily.

Emily smiled weakly, choking back a sob. Lily wished she didn't; she didn't like being around people who cried. Glancing at the expressions on Alice and Mary's faces, they didn't like it, either. The four of them were in the corner of the courtyard, Emily crying. The Gryffindors were doing their best to comfort her. Emily continued: "I need a _Dummies _book. You know, Lily?"

Lily nodded. To Alice and Mary, she explained, "_Dummies _books are like.. textbooks. They teach us stuff, like how to speak French, or something. There's a lot of them." Turning back to Emily, she asked, "What for, Em?"

"I need a _Dummies _book that tells me how to survive being James Potter's girlfriend," Emily announced. Lily choked back a laugh. _Merlin, _Lily thought, _you think _you _need a Dummies book? Try living with him and surviving the James and Emily era at the same time. _Regretting the bitter, (almost jealous) thought, Lily turned back to Emily, smiling.

"I'm really, really, sorry," Lily said helplessly, not knowing how to deal with another girl in this state. James was excellent at comforting girls. Lily wanted to slap herself. She thought to herself firmly, _Stop thinking about James._

Emily shrugged. "It's not your fault." She smirked. "Have fun ignoring him tonight."

Alice and Mary probably looked as bewildered as Lily felt. Mary asked slowly, "Ignoring him?"

"Well, yes," Emily said easily, "you are going to give him the cold shoulder, at least? He broke up with me!"

Lily hesitated before responding. True, Emily was one of her close friends, but the only reason they were really close was because Emily _was _James' girlfriend. Lily liked her, and everything, but she wasn't exactly like Alice, or Mary. James, on the other hand, was one of Lily's genuine friends. Lily said gently, "He and I work together, Em. I can't ignore him." Frankly, Lily thought Emily was being silly. Ignoring one another was so elementary school.

Emily sighed. "I guess so. Thanks for everything, girls. I'll see you in the morning." Emily rushed off to the bathroom. Lily guessed that she could cry easier in private. Lily sighed, once Emily was out from earshot. Emily had shown her worse side, thanks to Quidditch. Lily left Alice and Mary to go to the Head dormitory. As she was about to say the password, the three other Marauders exited.

"How's he doing?" Lily immediately asked.

Remus said hurriedly: "Less upset than we expected." Lily thought she saw him nudge Sirius and give him a look when Lily had glanced a different direction. She gave them a suspicious expression. "Er – go talk to him, Lily. We'll see you tomorrow." Lily frowned, then entered the dormitory. She knocked on James' door reluctantly.

"James? It's Lily," Lily said.

"Come in! Since when do you knock on my door, Lily?" James' voice called out from inside. Lily walked into his bedroom. He was lying, long body sprawled all over his bed.

Lily smiled. "Hey. Emily thinks I'm ignoring you, so don't tell her I talked to you." James chuckled. He sat up, and patted the space on his bed in front of him. Lily sat across from him, hugging her legs. "You don't seem upset, James."

"I guess I'm not," James said with a shrug, "I am... sort of. Emily was way better than... like, say, Alessandra. Remember?"

Lily dug in her memory, and laughed. "The girl who cut her robes up to her butt cheeks, then got kicked out because of that? Yeah. I remember. Emily is definitely one of your best choices."

"Not quite up to the number one best James Potter girl choice," James said in a casual argument.

"Oh?" Lily asked, smiling again, "who's that?"

James laughed once more. "Never mind – Emily takes top spot. I thought you were intelligent, Lily. Intelligent enough, attractive enough, nice enough, to fit into my number one spot."

Lily blushed. "You don't still -"

"Of course not," James replied unblushingly. Lily was forced to believe he was telling the truth. Otherwise, he would look extremely embarrassed. She shoved aside the mysterious disappointed feeling sitting in her stomach, "but I _was_ kidding – you were the best girl I ever fancied. Any man would be lucky to have you, Lily dear."

Lily nudged him gently. "I'm not that great. I haven't attracted many people. I've only been on so few dates in my life." James didn't respond. Lily asked, "Out of curiosity... what makes it fancied, not fancying?"

"Well," James began slowly, "I guess, I'm lying, sort of."

"Oh?"

"Yes. A little. I fancy you, sometimes, but I'm not going to try. You see, Lily, I've learned my lesson. You're beautiful, smart, caring, funny, and most of all, way out of my league," James said, "you deserve someone who has less arrogance."

Lily's smile grew into a small laugh. "Mm... I don't think so." James wasn't given any time to comprehend this. She crawled over and gave him a peck on the cheek. "You're an excellent friend, James," Lily said, finding that it took much effort to say that. Not bothering to ponder over the strain, she stood from his bed, and then left. "'Night."

She heard one last murmur: "Good night, Lily."


	9. UPDATE!

Hello, dear readers. :)

I apologize for the lack of updat(ion)ing. Unfortunately, homework is starting to pile up, and I'm struggling to KEEP up. I assure you, I haven't given up on For Dummies. Inspiration is just running a bit slow, and so is the will to work! xD I can't promise I'll be updating anytime soon. I'm somewhat sure I'll be able to write something before November starts, though.

In the mean time, I would appreciate crossed fingers. :D I have a figure skating competition coming up soon.

Mucho lovesness,

Icy :)


	10. Chapter 9: Plans, Spies, and Flying

Hello, everyone! :) Happy to see me back, I hope?

I hope you all had a great Halloween! I did. I dressed up as a nerd. :D I placed fifth at my skating competition, for those who are curious, which is way better than I expected, so I'm happy! I said I would have another chapter up before November, and my month is running up in an hour and twenty minutes, haha. So, here it is!

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 9: Plans, Spies, and Flying**_

James Potter fell asleep that night holding his cheek, but thinking firmly to himself: _It was just a friendly peck on the cheek; it was nothing else. We're just friends. _He was better than that. He didn't break up with a girl just because he realized he liked someone else. Wait a second. No. He didn't even like anyone else. He just dumped Emily because she was a sore loser, that was all! James lay in bed thinking about that when he awoke. The Marauders barged in, carrying mugs of coffee. "Good morning, Groggy Head," called Sirius brightly. "Coffee for you, Mr. Potter?"

"Merlin," James whispered.

"No, James," said Sirius in an exasperated tone. "I'm _Sirius_!"

"Merlin," repeated James, still in a whisper. "I'm so confused."

"Teenagers," Remus scoffed to Peter, as though they weren't teenagers themselves. "James. We went over this. You don't like Emily anymore. There are other fish in the sea. You weren't even serious."

"Don't," Peter interrupted Sirius, who was about to make a 'serious' crack.

"I'm so confused..." James whispered, crawling under the sheets and curling up into a ball. Suddenly, he sat up. "No. Hey, can I have that mug of coffee? I'm going to need it."

"He's PMS-ing," said Sirius worriedly.

James rolled his eyes and seized the mug of coffee. "I'm a _guy_. I don't PMS, Sirius, so shut up. I have an idea on how to make sure I know what the heck I'm doing."

"I'm confused now, too," said Peter.

"Join the club," Remus replied, eyebrows furrowed. "Prongs, what the heck are you talking about?"

"Nothing, Moony," said James dismissively. "Can you three do me a favor?"

Sirius shrugged. "Go for it. We can cancel our prank plans... Gilderoy would appreciate us changing our plans, eh, Moony, Wormtail? We're free this weekend, mate."

"Moony: make sure Lily is in the courtyard in an hour," said James, standing. "She wakes up in some ungodly hour hours before now, so she'll be perfectly awake. Wormtail, Pads, don't cancel your prank plans just yet. I want you to do that thing we did in third year – that distraction plan."

"Third year distraction?" Peter repeated, eyes wide. "Prongs, we got detention for a month because of that."

"Now, now, Wormy," said Sirius, "keep optimistic. We can do it differently. No one will suspect a thing. I have ideas." He saluted to James.

James grinned. "Keep it alive for at _least _forty-five minutes... starting in, at the latest, an hour and a half. Keep it as far away from the pitch and courtyard as possible. Make sure Lily doesn't see it."

"Perfect," Sirius replied, rubbing his palms together. "Yes. Perfect. Everybody will have finished breakfast in an hour, giving us time to set up... Lily wakes up earlier, eats breakfast earlier... yes. Flawlessly planned." He had a guess of what James was planning, but it's best to keep everything as a surprise.

"Excellent. You'll need the map and the cloak," said James, surfing in his trunk. He quickly checked for Lily's location. "Merlin. This can't be any easier. Moony, she's in the Great Hall. Alice and Mary are still in the Great Hall. Remember, with Lily... chat up, lead her to the courtyard." He looked into each of their faces. "You're wondering why I'm doing this, aren't you?"

Remus smiled wryly. "Well, James, after all these years, you just sort of go with it."

**

_Mission Perspective: _Remus Lupin, then, Lily Evans

"Lily! Lily Evans! My favorite redhead Head Girl!" said Remus, sliding in front of her.

Lily laughed. "Good morning to you, as well, Rem. I'm the only redhead Head Girl you know, by the way." She tried to step around him.

"Lily! What's the rush?" he interrupted. "Take a walk with me. I need help understanding... Gamp's Laws of Elemental Transfiguration." Which Remus really did need help understanding. He quickly added, "and I need help with the an Elixir to Induce Euphoria. If you have the time, I mean." Lily was polite; she would never decline.

"Sure," said Lily. Remus could tell she was fighting the urge to sound exasperated. Easily, he led Lily down towards the courtyard, checking subtly at his watch. _Fifteen minutes_, he thought, strained. _Come on, James..._ Remus listened for any sound of explosion, any obvious sign of James' plan.

"... and the Elixir to Induce Euphoria isn't that hard," Lily was saying. "I suggest adding just a sprig of peppermint, though. The side effects the potion have are kind of weird, and the peppermint balances that out. Slughorn was impressed with what I did when I added it."

Remus checked his watch. They were right at the entrance of the courtyard. His eyes searched the courtyard carefully. He saw James peek from under the cloak. Remus grinned, pretending to look for something. "Hey, Lil, can you stay here for a second? I'll be really quick. I think I dropped something on our way down..."

"I'll come with you," Lily suggested.

"No!" Remus said, too hastily. He added quickly, "I'll be quick. Sit down." Lily frowned, then walked over to one of the benches, sitting down. Once Remus left, James walked in, carrying his broom.

"James!" Lily said in surprise. "Hi."

"Hey, Lil," James greeted casually. There was a silence. Desperately, James was nearly going to comment on the weather. It was the most boring weather, on top of that, so the conversation would be quite … lifeless.

Lily smiled. "You planned this, didn't you?"

James threw his hands up. "Oh, come on. You couldn't even play along until I got to the next part?"

"Maybe I will! What's the next part?" Lily asked, finding herself sounding almost flirtatious.

"Why don't you come and see?" James offered his hand. Lily, despite herself, took it. She mounted the broom, and muffled her scream as James launched into the air. She buried her face in his shoulder. She felt his chuckle. "It's alright, Lily."

Lily carefully detached her face from his shoulder, then quickly buried her face in it again. "Alright? We're so high!"

"That's right," James said brightly. "Hold on tight, Lily!" He dived down towards the pitch. This time, Lily just let out her scream. They were heading down rapidly. James laughed loudly, whooping in glee. He landed lightly in the center of the pitch after the controlled dive.

Lily sighed and sat down on the grass, detaching herself hurriedly from the broom. "I thought you liked me enough not to kill me, James."

James laughed. "You weren't _really_ scared, were you, Gryffindor?" Lily scoffed. James grinned, sitting down in front of her. "Go on. Your turn."

"My turn to what?" Lily asked.

"Ride the broom."

Lily stared at him. "Oh, Merlin. You're not joking."

"Come on, Lily."

"_James_!"

"Go on. You don't even have to rise a foot off the ground. Just drag your toes on the grass," James suggested. Lily frowned. James stood up, pulling her up. "Trust me."

Lily sought his gaze, finding that it was sincere. Lily sighed again. "Alright."

**

_Mission Perspective_: Severus Snape

What was she doing?

Severus Snape flinched. He stood outside the pitch, peeking into what was supposed to be a private moment. He knew that if Black was trying a prank that elaborate inside the castle without Potter, it had to have something to do with Lily. He headed immediately to the pitch, and found himself watching them warily. Hand touching. What was this? Potter summoned a broom from the shed, letting Lily use his expensive broom. He didn't even look pained! What was going on? He glided easily right beside her, seemingly speaking calmly and reassuringly to Lily, who looked frightened. "What are you doing, Potter?" Snape muttered. "Can't you see she'd rather not be on a broom, let alone near you?"

Lily turned around. Severus was scandalized to see that she looked relieved she hadn't fallen off. James moved his arm upward. He was suggesting they go higher. Lily scrunched her face up in concentration, and the broom reacted instantly. It was faster than she had been expecting She wobbled, startled. Severus scowled, as Potter quickly caught her. Lily turned red at his touch. He didn't notice. Did _they _notice what was as plain as day to Severus? They were disgustingly attracted to one another!

_What was this_?

Again, Lily tried to go upwards, but this time, Potter couldn't catch her in time. Severus was about to run out to the pitch when Potter lunged forwards, falling over the other side of the broom. He knocked over Lily, making them both land into the grass. Potter was practically on top of her. To Snape's shock, Lily was laughing. Potter grinned, pulling her up. He could see his lips mouthing: "Well, that was fun. Want to try again?"

Lily nodded vigorously. Severus' eyes widened. Who was this girl? What had she done with Lily Evans?

Mounting the broom, Lily zoomed around Potter, faster, and faster, and faster. She looked thrilled. "I can see why you find this exciting!" she called out to him, as soon as she was far away. Potter smiled widely and nodded in her direction. Lily turned around and rushed back towards the center of the pitch, jumping off the broom playfully and landing beside Potter. "That was fun!"

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," Severus could hear Potter. He lowered his voice. He couldn't hear him anymore...

**

_Mission Perspective_: James Potter, then the spy

"Is it bad to lie, Lily?"

Lily rolled to her side to face James. He lay down beside her, back to the ground. He fiddled with his thumbs, staring at the sky. "Why do you ask?" she asked him.

"Because I did," James replied slowly.

"James..." Lily sounded confused. James forced himself not to look at her.

"I guess, I kind of did. I don't _sort of_ fancy you. I realized... that... you had a lot to do with Emily. You had a lot to do with the reason I broke up with her," James murmured. Lily edged closer. She covered his fiddling thumbs with her palm.

"Oh?"

James nodded, still not turning to her. "Is that a bad reason?"

"Yes. But I don't think..." Lily paused.

James didn't ask her to continue. He turned, at last, removing a hand from beneath her palm and reached out to caress her cheek. He moved closer, as though hesitant. He moved slowly. Lily smiled at him, closing the space between their lips, wrapping her arms around his neck, eventually moving her hands up to his hair, playing with it as she kissed him. James wasn't paying attention to anything, at all. His mind was on a repeat thought: I'll wake up from this dream anytime now. Even after Lily pulled away, she kept close to James. They lay there, staring at the sky, at nothing, with very subtle smiles on their faces.

A few feet away, a greasy haired, hook-nosed boy stood, a shocked expression on his face, his ears echoing with the sound of a heart shattering within him.


	11. Chapter 10: An End

You: LYK, ZOMG, UR STILL ALIVE? WTFJRAOIGAHEUEGKJHA!

Okay, so story time. One of my favorite fanfics in the world is "Napa Valley Weekend". Look it up in my favorites. It stopped RIGHT before the ending, and I hate that. I've been begging since like 2005 or something for the author to finish it, so I just finish it in my head. I realize, that for some people, I've been doing the same. I apologize. I've reread the story without going... wow, you suck... to myself, and that, added to the out of the blue reviews I got, is enough sign that I should at least finish it.

I apologize that the fic wasn't longer (in a way), and that it took long to ... be ... short. Uh. Yeah. This is, indeed, the final chapter I'm going to write for Lily & James. I'll probably write more in the future, but as of now, this is it.

My next project (SUMMER!) is going to be Harry/Ginny. Maybe I'll simultaneously write another one. If y'all like that, but I dunno why you would....... ;)

(insert witty disclaimer that I'm not JKR here)

_**How to Survive James Potter for Dummies**_

_**Written and experienced by Lily Evans**_

_**Chapter 10: An End**_

_**(a crappy end, but an end nonetheless)**_

_Lily & James_

The next day, Lily and James sat together on the dorm couch, his arm around her, in a way that didn't feel too different from the days before that. "I say we keep it quiet for about a month," James suggested.

Lily laughed. "They have a bet going, did you know?"

"Well, a lot of them are going to lose money!" James scoffed. "It's not nice to bet."

"Against the rules."

"Defying Head Girl and Boy authority."

"Defying _Lily Evans _and _James Potter_."

"The undefiable," James declared.

Lily smiled. "That's not a word, James."

"Doesn't matter! It shows that we are undefiable!"

"And anyway," said Lily, snuggling closer to James, "they'll have their ways of finding out. I wouldn't be surprised if they came bursting in right now, taking a moment to take it all in, then yelling: 'I knew it! Hand over the galleons, Remus!'"

"You say that like _Sirius _would be the one to burst in," James said suspiciously.

Lily playfully hit him. "As if you think it would be anyone else."

"Touche."

There was a silence, as if the two of them were waiting for Lily's prediction to happen. Lily giggled and said, "They're sleeping. It's the weekend."

"How do you _get _these things?" asked James, in admiration. "I didn't even think of that."

"Flattery doesn't get you snogging, James, dear," Lily admonished.

James looked in awe. "Okay, you just got a whole lot of my respect for knowing that I wanted to snog you."

"You're a boy. _Everyone _can guess that," said Lily, exasperatedly.

"I apologize for my predictability, dear, darling Lily. Such things simply cannot be helped," James said innocently. "I am, after all, as you say, a boy."

Lily smiled and kissed him.

_The Friends_

"Time is _up_, my friends, Sirius Black has won the bet. Nobody on the planet knows the workings of James Potter and Lily Evans _quite _as I do," declared Sirius to the group at the Great Hall, as soon as Lily and James sat down.

Alice gawked. "What are you talking about? They haven't even said anything!"

Sirius smiled. "Alice, Alice, Alice. Such a limited mind! I know James snogged her. I just know it. Tell me I'm right, my friends." He turned to James and Lily.

"Not even past breakfast," Lily said, sadly. "I was hoping for a month." This earned a loud, theatrical gasp from Alice and Mary.

Sirius stood up and bowed. "Thank you, thank you."

"Well, they _snogged_," said Mary, with a touch of desperation. "Doesn't mean..."

"Sorry, Mary," James interrupted her with a smirk.

An exchange of galleons suddenly happened, as Mary, Alice, Remus, and Peter glumly handed over their galleons to Sirius. The latter smirked, pocketing the money and said, "This goes to a good cause, men - and women."

"Good cause!" scoffed Lily. "That just means you're buying new things from Zonko's."

"It seems that you're not the only predictable one, then." Sirius grinned.

James tossed Sirius a galleon. "I guess you deserve that, since I was thinking after Easter." Sirius looked giddy.

Lily smiled and kissed James' cheek. "I guess they all lived happily ever after, then."

That well-known sentence, "They all lived happily ever after", has never been true, because with one person's happiness, another person is not.

Severus watched the exchange from his table, and looked away, crushing his eyes closed, willing for the tears not to come. He had been her friend for so long. Why did such a thing ruin it? He had never felt such hatred for himself, for Potter, most especially for Potter, until that moment. He and Lily, Lily and him. That's how it always was meant to be. Mudblood. It was only a word, and it broke the strongest bond Severus ever had with anyone, anything. Even if Lily forgave him - something he could only wish for - things would never be the same. He stood up, ignoring Yaxley and Avery's calls.

That was it, he supposed. There was nothing more to it. Lily wasn't his. She never was. She belonged to a world better than one with him in it.

_I guess surviving James Potter has nothing to do with getting rid of him, diary. It means accepting him, and in a lot of ways, it means accepting change. There are two impossible wishes I have. One is that day never happened. The second is that I knew James Potter for longer, so that time wasted hating him could be spent how it should have been spent. How it is now. Loving (please, Merlin, don't let anyone read this) James Potter. Maybe it is loving, though. I'll find out, I guess._

_Love,_

_Lily_

I'm sorry for the hasty ending :( I really hope you enjoyed the REST of the story, though :P Watch out for another fic!


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